And I'm ready to leave the house

I’ve always been a bit scabby if I’m honest. Puberty kicked in at 13 and so did a face full of spots and a delightfully embarrassing flaky scalp. Head and Shoulders didn’t shift it, Medicated Tar Shampoo that stank to high heaven didn’t shift it, throwing a huge tantrum before school definitely didn’t shift it and much to my dismay moving out of my terrible teens and into my 20s didn’t shift it either.

I’ve spent years brushing off my shoulders, avoiding black tops and spending a fortune on a rather glamorous hat collection. (it wasn’t all bad.) So it is with ridiculous joy that I hear my faithful hairdresser say to me today ‘your scalp is as clear as whistle’.

I love my hairdresser. Craig has been with me 7 good years. Its one of the longest and most committed relationships I’ve ever been in. I would never cheat on him. I even trek up to London to see him and that’s a biggy cause the London transport system and I do NOT get on.

I trust Craig with my hair. This is equivalent to saying I trust him with my life. A womans hair is her crown and I now wear mine with pride. Yes Craigs dedication and care is partly responsible but so are the changes I’ve made in my life.

• I have a protein shake every morning for breakfast. Protein is what our skin is essentially made of
• I drink flaxseed oil. Oils are rich is essential fatty acids to nourish the skin
• I regularly take vitamin E which is a fat soluble vitamin and antioxidant
• I eat loads of fibre that keeps my bowels happy (we all know it’s all about the log)
• And most of all I have dealt with my confidence issues

Anyone who has experienced a skin condition will tell you it makes you want to put a bag on your head. This instinctive response of wanting to hide away was at the core of my condition. I hated crowds and I hated talking in public. I was much happier tucked up at home rather than at a social gathering so no wonder my body created a condition that gave me the excuse to stay in and watch Xfactor.

But I hated the restriction of it. Deep down I wanted to enjoy social situations, to connect with others, to have opinions, to be confident. So I jumped right into Jewels Wingfields Deep Diving year long course to tackle my fear head on (excuse the pun). I learnt the other day that the word ‘confidence’ comes from the Spanish word ‘confianza‘ which simply means ‘with trust’. Confidence comes from trusting yourself. Once I discovered my inner confidence my skin condition began to heal.

I truly understand how tough it is when your skin is in crisis and no cream, potion or lotion brings relief. But like many conditions it’s not what’s going on outside that needs the remedy. Start by looking inside.

Would you be quiet back there! I'm trying to pose for Zoo magazine.

Laura and I were in a shoe shop (we are natural women with killer shoe collections) and a teenage girl entered the shop with her boyfriend. We smelt her before we saw her. She smelt of fake strawberries and other sweet childish stuff. She was actually orange and had obvious hair extensions, fake nails and more make-up than Madame Jojo’s and it got us thinking. Is this what sexy is now?

I asked husband for his opinion. Always an interesting place to start. He blames low grade mainstream porn mags like Nuts and Zoo magazine for telling guys that’s what’s sexy. But these guys are missing a trick too. It takes courage to stand out and say “that’s not what I want” when society deems it to beautiful and without that on your arm you are apparently a loser. We are being told what’s sexy but actually sex appeal is a transient often intagible force combined of many different qualities. I’ve done my research and it seems to be a combination of talent, personality, presence, style, poise, intelligence, humour and lifestyle choices not just body shape or facial attributes. Certainly no one mentioned fake tan and nails.

I’m 35 years old. I’m no stranger to hair dye (it was blue for most of 1998). Make up and I are best friends (organic of course) and I’ve even tried hair extensions (couldn’t stop pulling the darn things out) but I truly prefer myself without too much faffing around.
In honesty though it’s taken me a while to get here and a lot of working on my self esteem to stop trying to hide behind the image of perfection pushed at me from the TV and magazines.

There are layers to why I have concerns about this.

Firstly the psychological aspect. We have millions of young girls growing up where this type of barbie doll perfection with their vajazzling is becoming thought of as the only way to be considered pretty. This leads to huge self esteem issues not to mention deeper issues like bulimia, anorexia and even self harming.

Secondly, just as worryingly it’s the effect on our health all these beauty products are having. Phthalates are a plastic derivative found in many cosmetics and hair products they are linked to genital malformation in the foetus, cancer and infertility. The word parfum on a bottle is a euphemism for up to 200 chemicals that have been linked to cancers, neuro toxicity and brain damage. Maybe not the ” Lynx Effect” you were looking for eh lads?

Parabens are a type of preservative in everything, including processed food. They’ve been linked to learning difficulties, cancer and hormone disruptions including early onset puberty in young girls. Sodium lauryl sulphate is used to make products foam. This nasty chemical has been linked to cataracts, flaky skin and impaired hair growth.

Unfortunately you need to become a label checker to spot them because cost and branding is no yard stick. Some of the most prized and costly products are the worst and the word “natural” doesn’t mean anything in the world of marketing.

Look for clean products such as Neals Yard Organic Remedies, REN skincare, Dr Hauschka, and faith in nature. Good cosmetics to use are the mineral make up brands. You can even get non toxic cleaning products for your home.

What we really need to start doing though is celebrating the human body in all it’s myriad shapes, smells, and styles and learn to celebrate our uniqueness. We have to stop teaching our children that polluting themselves and hating themselves because they don’t look like the airbrushed celebrity in the magazine is normal. Actually skin smells delicious and hair feels lovely when it’s not slathered or crunchy with product.

I’m bringing real life sexy back. Whose in?

my usual stress response

I’m sat in bed stewing over my stressed pregnant friend. A brave, clever, dynamic woman who is risking it all to set up a business and invest everything she has financially and emotionally to make it happen. We speak almost daily, we talk about pretty much everything – business, food, sex, Christmas trees, the important stuff. And each day I hear her cramming work in to the few precious hours she has before the babysitter goes home and mothering duties take over. And I hear her ridiculously high stress levels, I hear her worry, the constant planning and analysing, I hear the exhaustion and I feel powerless to do anything about it.

Stress is the single biggest cause of disease in the country. Human beings are not designed to take on the levels of chronic, constant stress that we experience in 2011.  Back in the day when we would have been chased by lions and tigers and bears (oh my!) our bodies would produce hormones adrenaline and cortisol – the fight or flight response – we’d either decide to take on the beast or run like pansies in the opposite direction. Our heart rate would speed up, digestion would slow, blood flow would flood to major muscle groups and the body would receive a burst of energy and strengthen to protect itself. The adrenaline response is an immediate one then the cortisol kicks in and is designed to sustain this response for as long as it’s needed.  Once the danger was gone the body would return to its normal resting state.

However these days there are no actual lions and tigers and bears (oh my!) to fight but our bodies still feel under constant attack. It’s just a very different kind of attack. Rushing to get to work, frustration in traffic jams, busy lifestyles, worry over bills, poor diets, high caffeine, even loud pumping music and video games release these hormones into the bloodstream. All these stresses create the same fight or flight response in the body and we are never returning to a lovely relaxed state. Poor bodies.

What are the symptoms of knackered adrenals?

• Impaired cognitive performance
• Blood sugar imbalances (body craves sugar to produce hormone responses)
• Decreased bone density and muscle tissue
• Higher blood pressure
• Lowered immunity and inflammatory responses in the body
• Increased fat in the body
• Insomnia and sleep problems
• Digestive complaints
• Nervous, jiggly legs
• Irritability
• Hormone issues

Oh the list goes on. So many conditions are caused by too much stress. So here are my four top tips for reducing stress

1. Every single day make sure you take at least 10 minutes to sit quietly, eyes closed and focus on your breathing. Breathe into the belly. This is where the adrenal glands are (just on top of the kidneys), keep asking the body to relax with each breath
2. Take a vitamin B complex – known as the stress vitamin. It supports the nervous system. I recommend Nutricalm, it’s a wonderful combination of vitamin B, vitamin C and chamomile helping to relax and de-stress the body.
3. Become aware that your health will suffer if you continue with high stress so look at ways of changing your lifestyle. Identify the key stress factors and begin to discuss ways of managing them. Even simply talking and acknowledging problems can help reduce stress.
4. Take up Enya

My friend is finally taking some much needed time off to put up her Christmas tree today. My recommendation? Hug the tree. A brilliant cure for all ills.